This blog is intended to chronicle the mis-adventures of my newly single dating life. I am a 31-year-old female living in the glorious Midwest who is going through a divorce. Those who know me agree that this divorce is actually a good thing for me. It is going to give me back both my freedom and my sanity. But in the spirit of not bringing down the tone of my very first post, I won't get into the specific things that make my soon-to-be-ex-husband a jerk. I will fill you all in on that stuff later, as I'm sure it will come up.
Just so you know, I haven't actually begun my dating adventure yet. There's a little thing called the divorce proceeding that technically needs to happen first. But the soon-to-be-ex-husband is moving out on June 1. So I've decided "moving day" is when I will be placing myself officially on the market, so to speak.
Herein lies the first problem... I haven't dated anyone since 1992! Since that time, I have been in a serious, long-term relationship, either dating or married. And just so you know what we're dealing with here... In 1992, I was still in high school! So I've never really had to navigate the world of adult dating (sad-but-true fact).
So the first order of business is going to be putting myself out there. I don't want to say advertising, but it has occured to me that this is very much like marketing a product. It has also occured to me that selling Cheerios, or Colgate toothpaste, or a Ford Mustang would be much easier. Maybe I should rephrase that since I am not at all interested in "selling myself."
But I ask again.. How do you throw yourself out there? I have visions (in my inexperienced mind) of making up posters and plastering them all over town..."DATE THIS GIRL" I have even thought about posting some sort of reward to whomever takes on this challenge - you know, to inspire people to want to participate??? But then thoughts of prostitution come to mind, and I realize that this is not a good idea. The next idea that pops in my head is the "broadcast attack". That is, actively announcing to anyone and everyone I encounter that "Hey, I'm single! Anybody want to hook me up? Got any single friends out there?" Again, pretty sure this is not a good idea... but I have nothing better.
Right about now, I am feeling very melancholy about being alone. Like I mentioned, I've never had to do it, and without having much practice, I totally suck at this. My best friend keeps telling me that, "No duh, you don't know how to be alone. You have to go through it first to find out how to do it." And I can hear all of you intellectual types out there right now nodding your heads furiously in agreement with this statement. But this is one of those sayings that is easy to tell someone else, and virtually impossible to face yourself.
So I'm having a fairly hilarious time trying to figure out my plan of attack. I have a few traits about me which will make this a very funny journey to read about. The clumsiness, airheadedness and general overall cluelessness have brought my friends to tears already. And we are just approaching tip-off here.
Please join the ride as I chronicle
Until next time... Love to all,
A
Hey, I thought of a cool first order of business... We need to come up with a nickname for the "soon-to-be-ex-husband." This is way too long for me to type out! Best suggestion posted on the board wins...
