Love Bites (literally)

My date Tuesday night resulted in me being bitten by roughly 1.3 million mosquitoes. Judging by the size of the resulting welts, they were all of the super, giant, flesh-eating variety. I am COVERED from scalp to toe in them... I mean they are in between my fingers, inside my belly button, on 80% of my arms, and EVERYWHERE in between. E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E, people. This is NOT an exaggeration.

However, I must say that the whole thing was well worth it. I am willing to sacrifice my skin in order to spend QT with MG. And, oh, what a fantastic time we had (sorry, I couldn't help myself).

Kelly and I walked late last night and she was kind enough to bring along a tube of itch cream. I LOVE that stuff. Man, I rubbed it into every square inch of my exposed skin during our walk. And rubbed, and rubbed, and... Then I went home and took care of the rest of my body. Today at lunch I invested in the largest possible tube of Maximum Strength Relief Cream. I'm pretty well lathered in it as we speak. And later I'm going to buy some stock in Pfizer Consumer Healthcare. God Bless those people!

MG thought this whole thing was funny at first. Yesterday, when the bites were in their infant stage, it was kinda funny. But now that they have blossomed, it's pitiful really. Being me right now if physically miserable. Because it feels like my skin is literally crawling. I'm trying to prevent myself from engaging in maniacal scratching and thrashing for fear of looking like I might actually be mistaken as mentally retarded (please hold all comments to yourselves, thank you.). MG feels sorry for me. This pity, however, has not precluded him from making the occasional smartass comment about my condition. But that's okay because I happened to notice a few red bumps on him this afternoon - suffering (and scratching) is best done in pairs.

Oh yeah - you should see the looks I've been getting from the general public. They are either feeling sorry for me for having such an acute case of psoriasis, or they are trying to figure out what else might be wrong with me to have attracted every single last mosquito in the entire Midwest to my body. Either way - not good.

Today someone said to me, "Gee, I guess you should stop getting naked and lying in the grass." Yeah, real funny. If they only knew.

Truth be told, I guess I should stop doing that.

....nah

BTW, if you happen to cross paths with a mosquito today, please Kill. It. Dead. Smack the living Hell out of it! All bugs must die! Thank you in advance for your prompt attention to this matter and have a great day!