The Phone Call

Well, I got the much anticipated phone call this morning. It came while I was getting ready for work. And it sucked.

It was one of those phone calls where you spend the entire time debating if this could possibly be for real. The whole time I kept wondering if I was really having that conversation. If he was really saying those things. And how I was going to deal with hearing it. I pretty much already knew I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it for the rest of the day. And it was such a jumbled mess I couldn't figure out if I was coming or going.

Basically, the story goes something like this... He is still having the major problems with the Ex. There is a lot of awful stuff going on. Like really awful. And it is dangerous for him and me to be doing this right now. When I saw dangerous, I really mean hazardous, perilous, and possibly fatal. I know, I know. I'm a huge exaggerator. And I'm a drama queen. But in this case, that is pretty darn accurate.

I have to stop right here and give New Guy tons of credit for being completely open and honest with me. He put everything he was thinking and feeling out of the line without interruption and explained exactly what was going on. It was good but it left me feeling kinda numb. The few times he stopped talking to see if I had anything to say, I couldn't say anything. I had nothing. Oh yeah, I did cry, though. (Relax, it wasn't the bawl-baby type of crying I do on the phone with many of you guys...nothing close to that dramatic. Just everyday run-of-the-mill low-key crying.)

Anyway, he said he didn't feel like he could put the time and effort into this that it deserved and that he wanted to give to it. Not until this other situation is cleared up. He doesn't want to continue on until it can be done the right way. He felt like it would be unfair to me (I guess he's right. Well, I know he's right.).

But on a lighter note, he said he still wants to talk. He asked me to call him anytime and said he would continue to call me until I told him not to. And that, once this is resolved, everything will be fine and we can pick up where we left off.

You know, in the midst of all this, he did drop a few very sincere and sweet lines. He really is a sweet, caring man. And he's one of the good ones. He's still stressed, but not quite as badly as he was a couple of weeks ago. Hopefully this time and space will give him the opportunity to get this taken care of. I hope this all works out quickly and easily for him.

All in all, I guess it's really not all that bad. I mean, it could be worse. And I'm glad we had this talk so that I understand what is going on. I'm also glad we are going to continue to talk to each other and hopefully things will work out. At this point I'm very confident they will. It's just a question of when that will happen. Okay, I feel some more crying coming on...