Be Glad You're Not Me, People!

Here's the situation: The person I am DYING to be with is having a major situation and we are on hold until it gets straightened out - which, by the sounds of things, might be sometime off. There is a mystery person out there with whom I have gotten very close in the last couple of weeks, but that is a totally complicated story. And Saturday night, I met some total bad-ass dude who tried his hardest to have a sleepover at my house.

So, WTF! When it rains, it pours?!?

I guess I'm not (really) complaining. In a way, I've been blessed by all this attention. But, DAMN IT, I'm totally pissed that none of this is very easy.

You see, I don't make tough decisions. Let me clarify that. I'm not saying I find making tough decisions to be difficult. I'm saying that when faced with a tough decision, I just DON'T MAKE ONE. I am perfectly content to put it on auto-pilot and let someone or something else decide the outcome.

Bad Trait #2: When I see something I want, it is hard for me to use common sense in deciding whether or not it is a good idea to pursue it. Like you, I have one of those "little voices" that tells me what I SHOULD do. I also have one of those little voices that wears the devil's costume and tells me what I WANT to do. And that second one speaks louder and doesn't take no for an answer. Add to the mix that in this case the "thing" I want is pursuing ME, and the ballgame is over.

On the one hand, it is absolutely wonderful whenever you meet someone with whom you totally click. And it's even better when you think that person is nothing short of Physically. Freakin'. Beautiful. The other thing fueling this is that I have lots and lots of history with him and we are V-E-R-Y close in a very-good-friend kind of way. But the scale has been tipping in the romantic direction for some time now, and recently we have both outed ourselves and our feelings. We may have even had a date. And stuff. But this is complicated and I know there is no real outcome here.

Then you have New Guy. New Guy is wonderful. He's amazing. He's sexy and sweet. Honest and understanding. He's tons of fun, a voracious talker, and a super great kisser. We have gone out several times and have built up quite an impressive reserve of sexual tension. He is the one with whom I could go for the long-term. But he's also the one with a psychotic Ex. And right now her psychosis is causing major problems. So we're on a break until that gets cleared up.

You remember that we (finally) talked last Friday when he laid all this out on the line for me. I think you all knew this was coming, and we mostly guessed the content. On a positive note, he does want to keep talking. So that's what we're going to do for now. No dates. No lunch dates. Just phone calls. Ugh! If you, too, are an impatient person, you can relate to my plight.

Onto the bad-ass guy from Saturday night. I'll just refer to him as BA for short. Physical description: Tall, dark hair, nice arms, good face, facial hair, total bad-ass. Personality description: Laid-back, quiet, sarcastic, total bad-ass. Favorite things: Alcoholic beverages, sports, and women.

I met BA at a friend's house. We had a mini get-together so we could entertain ourselves on a Saturday night, get drunk, and - oh yeah, so that BA and I could meet each other. I must say I was oddly nervous about this one. That could be because I had heard so many not-so-flattering stories about his cavorting. It could also be because of the other stuff going on in my life...but anyway.

We didn't talk to each other all that much. But we all did a lot of drinking. He got drunk and then had the bright idea that he should sleepover at my house. In my bed. With me. And, you know.

I said no. (Who's proud of me for that, huh?) Thing is, he kept on asking. How many times, you ask? Let's use 25 as a good ballpark number. At one point I asked why he wanted to (duh). He said, "Because, Baby, you're gorgeous and I love you." To which I erupted into a maniacal outburst of extreme laughter.

His reaction? Drunken sadness. And some raunchy descriptions of what he wanted to do to me. Because clearly if straight-up flattery doesn't work, pulling out all the nastiest, dirtiest comments about what you want to do to the other person will certainly get them in the sack. So I turned him down again. Don't get me wrong - there definitely was a point in my life where this would have had a different outcome. And I am willing to hang out with him in the future (probably in a group), because who knows what he's like when he's not hammered.

So I am contemplating calling New Guy tomorrow as part of our whole stay-in-touch, patience- building plan. I'll let you know how that goes.

I talked to Mystery Guy late last night, but he's out of town. So, I'm looking forward to talking to him tonight. In fact, we will probably be doing more talking this week than anything else because he will be out of town a lot.

And for now, BA will have to wait. Or make group plans.

I know on the surface this may seem like tons of fun. It's not. Certain parts are great. Like the attention and, well, the sex. But as things start to get very complicated, it kinda sucks to be me.

So if anyone's got any good advice, I'd love to hear it. If not, it's okay. You're all gorgeous, and I love you anyway :-)