Some Stuff I Forgot to Mention...

There is a story out there that I just have to tell. I eluded to it a few posts back -

Let me elaborate on last Saturday's adventures... P and I went down to the "docks" for dinner. We ate at a very trendy restaurant/bar that had live music and tons of people. We enjoyed the view for a while and then we weaseled our way into seats at the bar. We ordered up our first round of drinks (cosmos) and began discussing the three guys seated beside us. They were young, probably no older than 25 and can best be described as "bad-ass."

Y'all know I love a bad ass. Just not so sure about that whole 25 business. P, on the other hand, is down with that. So we decided that one of them looked like Sylvester Stallone and was clearly the brains of the group. (I know, oxymoron. But it's the truth.) He was seated right beside me and was obviously listening to our conversation. And being smartass women, we played that to our advantage a bit. I was saying something about how I should become a bartender so I could meet guys, when P said she would much rather be a dealer at a casino (I know, I was like WTF?) She went on to say that if she were a dealer, she would meet guys with money, while I as a bartender, I would only meet poor losers.

Sly couldn't take it anymore. He turned to us and jumped right in our conversation. Seeing as how he was just labeled as a poor loser by default, he eloquently provided his counterpoints. And he was kinda cute about it. His buddies were far less articulate, but perhaps cuter. (Not that any of this matters, you guys. I was SO not there to actually pick up a man.)

Side note: Kelly and I are planning on getting tattoos in the near future. And because this is a major life decision, and I can't make major life decisions without taking votes, I have been on a Tattoo Pro & Con Campaign for the past month. I have asked everyone I know and lots of people I met on the street, in Target, and at bars, their opinions on the following:

Do they like tattoos?
Is is okay for a girl to get a tattoo?
What is the best place for a girl to get her tattoo?

This is a summary of the data I have collected:

I have to say that it's probably 75/25 against tattoos altogether. I have even encountered three people WITH tattoos who now claim to hate them. And frankly, I saw some 60-year-old woman with a now rather nasty tattoo at the water park last week. So I see the point.

It is more like 90/10 against a girl getting a tattoo. Unless you are a woman, and then out of sheer femininism, most women will say something like, "I could never get one. But I definitely think you should! You go, Girl!" Which leads me to think they just don't have the guts or more likely, their boyfriends/husbands follow the 90/10 rule on this subject.

I must also state that the men with whom I have some sort of something going on have all said, "Absolutely, you should get a tattoo. It would be so hot!" New Guy is included in this group. And he does NOT have any tattoos himself. But you know what? New Guy also loves a tan, hates tanlines, adores long hair, long legs and boobs, and loves an outgoing personality. So since, I have a tan, no tan lines, long blonde hair, long legs, some pretty cool boobs (if I do say so myself), and am completely Type A, I don't think a tattoo will disqualify me at this point.

Getting back to the subject at hand, all middle-aged women that I have asked have said there is never a good reason for a girl to get a tattoo. Period. (With the exception of my mother, who at 69 years-old, would love to get a tattoo. Imagine a little Irish woman with fire-red hair and glow-in-the-dark pale skin getting inked at the local tattoo parlor.)

Oddly enough, many 20-something men have said tattoos on a girl are a no-go. Yeah, I don't get it. But I also see many, many young girls with tattoos. And more and more 30-something moms with multiple tattoos (going to the pool a lot enables one to gain quite the education on this subject).

And finally, almost all of the tattoo-friendly men say the best place for a girl to get a tattoo is on the small of her back. The trusty Tramp Stamp. Nice. New Guy and The Boss both agree on this subject. And in fact, that is precisely where mine is going if I get the courage to go through with it.

BTW, my Ex says no way to a girl with a tattoo and thinks I've lost my marbles. He almost stroked out when I told him about the Tramp Stamp idea. He thinks the one and only reason a guy would think this was hot is so they would have "something to look at." He's so sweet and contemporary. And he speaks so eloquently. I can't believe we're divorced. Ha Ha

Now getting back to Saturday night... Somewhere along the line, I noticed that one of the less-intelligent guys at the bar had a very nice armband tattoo. So I leaned over and asked him where he got it, telling him my plans for my Tramp Stamp. That opened the door for some interesting conversations down the line. And while they were (mostly) cute, P and I quickly decided to turn our attentions elsewhere. Because there was a rather attractive, dark-haired guy eyeing us across the room. We had lots of fun with that. That is, until some OLD dude approached me.

He leads in with this line..."Hey. Don't you go to the gym all the time? I see you there a lot." Seriously. While this is cheesy and weird and honestly triggered my gag reflex, I quickly realized he was serious. Because it WAS the old, creepy guy from the gym. The one my workout buddies and I dubbed "Papa Smurf." The one who looks like he walked straight out of a 1970s porno. The one who gawks at our boobs and is nasty.

I must say, he cleans up rather well. He was at the bar alone. As in - by himself. And he was invading our space. And being creepy again. He actually is a kinda nice guy. He didn't say anything inappropriate and he didn't stare (that much) at my boobs. Then he left.

And then our young friends decided to head out. But before they did, Sly came over and gave us a group hug. A surprise group hug is never good. Especially when it involves your boobs. They were angling for us to leave with them, but we shut that down. And then we laughed and laughed and laughed. And drank more cosmos.