Humble Pie is Best Served ala Mode

Okay, so "reading on to find out" actually requires me to publish the next post, right?
Sorry about that!

Last week was absolutely exhausting. Seven fun-filled days packed with a lot of stress, and WAY lots of tears. At one point or another during the week, I think I had a fight with virtually everyone I know. Except my mother - which is ironic. And odd. Some people were blessed enough to have fought with me numerous times during the week. And by NUMEROUS I really mean DAILY.

At this point there is SO much to write, that I must resort to the Reader's Digest version of events. Truth be told, I started to write this about, oh, three-gazillion times, but I couldn't figure out how to tell you about this WITHOUT publishing a novel.

Basically what happened was that after I wrote my last post ("Someday") I started doing some major heavy thinking. About my relationships and what I wanted to do with all this. It's been clear to me for a while now that I must let BA off the hook. Yes, he is wonderful in many, many ways. He is attentive and affectionate and fun and warm. He's a bad-ass, yet sweet, he's smart and he is way fun to hang out with.

But he is NOT MG. Plain and simple. I do not even have to reiterate how I feel about him, now do I? DO I? Surely by now, y'all know and are acutely sick of hearing about it. So, anyway, this had been weighing heavily on my mind for days when I went out with BA two Saturday's ago. We went to dinner and hung out for a couple of hours. It was while we were watching football that I sorta flipped out on him.

I have always been 100% honest with him, y'know. Even when what I had to say really hurt and was not all hearts and flowers. And he has always taken it/put up with me with loads of sweetness and compassion. To the point, in fact, where many of us ended up scratching our heads and wondering what was going on with him.

Anyway, this time? Very different. He didn't get angry or yell or anything like that. But I had finally pushed him over the line. I just told him that I was very, very confused. That I really loved MG and that it was causing me to feel like I was treating him unfairly - like I couldn't put my whole heart into it.

And guess what? He didn't like that answer. Imagine that. But, he still kept his cool and wiped away my tears, then shed a few of his own. We ended the night more confused than we started, and I went home feeling rather ill.

The next day was even worse. This is the day when BA figured out (on his own) who MG actually is. And this is the point at which BA LOST HIS MIND. He spazzed out a bit. Seems that they were FRIENDS. As in BUDDIES, people! Like he hung out with him during the better portion of their college and post-college years. Me, being a bull-shitter myself and a chronic non-believer in most things guys have to say, grilled him on a few facts that I happen to know about MG from those days. BA passed the Glory Days quiz with flying colors. So, he is telling the truth.

And OMG did this little discovery ever up the ante! Turned everything into a giant, major competition. Which led to lots more fighting, and crying, and even some territory-pissing. Can I just say I do NOT enjoy being the "territory" that gets pissed on? Numerous hours were spent on the phone last week listening to why I should be with BA and dump MG. Lots of hours spent listening to what a fake Bi-Yatch I am and how I don't mean anything I say.

My mind is numb from all of that. We have since moved past it, but it took quite a while. And lots of fighting. I even fought with Kelly and The Puppetmaster which REALLY. SUCKED. But we have all moved past it now.

Here's the funny part: I left the situation pretty much where it stood BEFORE I flipped out. Which makes me want to kick myself in the ass. I have remained honest with BA. And I am back in the same boat I was in a couple of weeks ago. So much for progress, huh?!

Last week I also found myself in a tiff with MG. He was upset with me for something little and stupid I did that is way too petty to even mention here. It was not my fault. And he knows it. Nonetheless, it rubbed him a little bit the wrong way, and he felt it appropriate to give me the usual - I'm pissed at you so endure this little thing I thought up called "The Ultra-Cruel Silent Treatment." He invented it, and he is a master at its execution.

Last week started out okay. Last Sunday I was working at a sporting event when he dropped by for a little while. I must say it was SO cute and made me want to wrap him up and take him home. Monday was great and Tuesday was fine. But by Wednesday - SHAZAM! - we were in full-on Silent Treatment Mode.

And I must say that IT SUCKS TO BE TREATED THAT WAY AND I HATE IT! It took until Thursday afternoon, after I finally called him out on it, for it to be over. He gave me another CD and commenced the sweety-sweet stuff. All better.

This week has been fine. But, still something is off. I think maybe I've had too many people putting ideas in my head lately and I'm having trouble thinking clearly. The last couple of weeks have been very confusing for me. The only thing that even kinda makes sense was a convo I had with my friend & neighbor, D. Which, even though he was feeling a little "toasty" at the time, actually helped me quite a bit. In fact, I think I will dedicate my next post to that...

In summation, I guess I was enjoying my situation a little too much without thinking about everybody involved. I was loving how everything was going and was happy cruising right along. Then WHAM! Some really crappy things hit me in the face. And I was forced to deal with them. It sucked.

Somewhere along the line, I heard that little voice say, "How about a nice slice of Humble Pie, Allie?"

To which I responded, "Got any ice cream to go with that?" (Hey - it makes it go down easier, okay?)